Dilemas.
I’ve never been a rational person, ever. I hate making decisions 90% of the time, and when I do make them, chances are I feel incredibly strong about what I want. If there’s any part of me that can be swayed either way, it’ll rip me at the seams. It sounds silly, I know, but I genuinely think I’m missing the part of my brain that helps people make decisions.
If I’m at Taco Bell and half of the menu sounds good, I’ll order all of it. Can’t decide between two dresses? I’ll buy them both. Oh, there’s a cheap flight to Billings, Montana? Sure, I’ve never been there, but it’s cheap- so why not, right? I think. Let me Google it. Oh, screw it. Sort of.
While other people can figure out what would make them happiest, I don’t like compromise. If I can’t decide between things, I want them both. Who says I can’t have the best of both worlds? Miley clearly didn’t know what she was talking about.
So, now here I sit, absolutely torn and on the verge of tears. (Wait, what?) My accommodations for my trip to Europe next month are cancelled and have been for about a month and a half. The one-way flight, on the other hand, is still in the system and ready to go. I can’t tell you why I haven’t cancelled it, to be honest. Sure losing $150 hurts, but I’d get the other $150 back. I can postpone it until September and crash Oktoberfest and only lose $50, and that was the original plan. That was until I looked at flights today. The $750 flights home have decided to make like the economy and take a complete nose-dive. It would only be $375 to fly home- I spend that eating out in two weeks. (What? I just told you I order half the menu when I go out to eat, don’t be so surprised.)
I would like to think most people would keep their trip and take full advantage of the price drop. In reality, chances are people would save their money. This is where I’m completely torn.
I’d be able to go back to London and Dublin for a week and a half. We’d be in Dublin for St. Patty’s Day and have some extra time to explore the city and the surrounding areas. I can fly back into New York, Boston, Chicago or Seattle and connect back home for free. You would think I’d be jumping all over this, right?
But I’ve been to both cities and spent Patty’s Day in Ireland. Is it really worth doing AGAIN? Last time I was there I fell down a flight of stairs and had my phone stolen. Granted, I had just turned 22 and was a complete mess, it was rough. Part of me feels like I owe it to these cities to be a decent human being and explore them now that I can actually control myself. The other part of me feels like I’d get more out of staying home, well, spending the holiday in San Francisco.
I’m heading back to Europe for Oktoberfest in September, so do I really need to go now? On the other hand, it’s so damn cheap and half of my flight is already paid for- a measly $375 and I can lock it all in. It’s times like these where I wish I had someone consistent in my life. They’d be able to tell me to stay or go. Decisions are so much easier when I need to take other peoples’ feelings into consideration. I never know what I want, and this proves it.
Everyone I know is saying to go, but part of me is reluctant to go through with it. The other half of my is fighting the urge to click the Book It button. What I lack in decision making I make up for in optimism. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I know I have a few days to do it. I’m sure I’ll feel bad about what I decide, but at the same time, I know it’ll be for the best. At this point, I just need a sign or some sort of direction.
This is less about my First World Problem and more so about the fact that I can’t make decisions. I wish this was easier, but for once I can’t have the medium Coke and small strawberry and banana smoothie.
